By Wendy Cabrera, LMHC

Special attention to those who feel their job is to make others happy… those others can be your children, spouse, friends… You know who they are.

These days I hear a lot of people complain of extreme exhaustion and resentment around their loved ones, “They don’t help me”, “They don’t see, realize, I am tired”, “They do not do their part”, “They do it with a bad attitude”.

This is the moment to pause. What is really happening here? Could it be that I did not realize that I was alone because I was receiving help that did not allow me to see the truth? Could it be that all my life I have believed that it is my job to care, entertain, love, to meet everyone’s needs to make them “happy”.

Maybe, in this new reality, I realize that I got my loved ones used to always filling their gaps, meeting their needs, and now in these circumstances I cannot sustain that… If that is the case, it is not their fault… If you did not see it, it is not your fault either.

Be grateful in this moment as it is helping you see something invaluable: Let it go! Resign! It is impossible to make someone else happy.

A strong, self-sustainable human being, is one that faces in a day multiple situations that he/she does not like, is not interested, does not want to do, but overcomes those moments in spite of not wanting to.

That is life! Don’t you realize that you as well are facing your “I don’t want”. Observe yourself when you must do something that you dislike; do you do it with acceptance, with anger, resignation, disgust? Can you choose to live only in the moments that you enjoy? That is not what life is about.

If your marriage was based on an invisible contract that says that he works while you take care of the kids, the home, or vice versa, this is the moment to revise that contract and create a new one. If both must work, take care of the house and the kids… How can we make sure that we are all ok? It is the moment to talk. Allow them to get bored, tired, allow them to have problems. When they do not find something, or do not know what to do, do not give them answers. Allow them to develop determination, perseverance, in situations that they dislike. They will need it.